When the boys all get together, alcohol consumption and pick-a-carb-any-carb activities rise quickly. While I am happy not to be part of this gross display of manliness, I will miss the moment when all 5'2" of me gets to stand up and yell at 6'-somethings: Simmer down! I said, simmer down!
Festivities will begin with wine, bread, cheese, cold meats and stuffed olives.
It's their show of civility before the truth of their get-together surfaces.
When that time comes -- and it's usually as dinner begins -- the wine will turn into beer, bread and cheese will turn into several pounds of potatoes and (I'm guessing) broccoli, and the cold meats will turn into 8-oz. steaks. The olives will remain intact.
All of this will go on during today's Olympic Super Sunday. It's Canada vs. the US in men's hockey, so this means the testosterone levels will be exponentially higher than usual. And the alcohol has a way of making them deaf, thus prompting them to yell all communications in each others' presence:
These boys, that broccoli and this hockey battle? It's a combination I know I can't handle.
Festivities will begin with wine, bread, cheese, cold meats and stuffed olives.
It's their show of civility before the truth of their get-together surfaces.
When that time comes -- and it's usually as dinner begins -- the wine will turn into beer, bread and cheese will turn into several pounds of potatoes and (I'm guessing) broccoli, and the cold meats will turn into 8-oz. steaks. The olives will remain intact.
All of this will go on during today's Olympic Super Sunday. It's Canada vs. the US in men's hockey, so this means the testosterone levels will be exponentially higher than usual. And the alcohol has a way of making them deaf, thus prompting them to yell all communications in each others' presence:
"OFF SIDE! THAT WAS OFF SIDE! FOR CRYIN' OUT LOUD, I CAN SEE IT FROM HERE! OFF SIDE!"
"WHERE IS MY BEER? IS THAT MY BEER? WHO TOOK MY BEER?"
"PENALTY! PENALTY SHOT! IS THERE ANY SALAMI LEFT? PENALTY SHOT, MAN!"
"PASS THE OLIV... GOALIE INTERFERENCE! DID YOU SEE THAT? GOALIE INTERFER... I DON'T WANT OLIVES. WHAT ARE YOU GIVING ME OLIVES FOR?"So while their evening will consist of filling themselves with various foodstuffs and yelling maniacally at the television and each other -- fun, I know -- mine will consist of watching this hockey battle on my own terms. I will whoop it up with a yummy helping of shrimp and veggie orzo and a glass of wine and, better still, in what is sure to be a gas-free zone.
These boys, that broccoli and this hockey battle? It's a combination I know I can't handle.
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